Was Chris Farley ever a sperm donor?

One of my favorite things about Ryan...

Ryan makes me laugh a lot. One of my favorite things about him is that he is highly musical, which has become increasingly evident throughout our 3 years of marriage. He likes me to guess what song he is singing, but he isn't singing the words, he just sings the sounds of the instruments and I rarely have any clue what song it is.

He'll be like, "saweeeeeeee wa wa wa waaaa breeeeeeeeeeeee boom boom papapa pum pum wreeeeeee wree wreee" louoder and louder while making air guitar and air drum moves and he'll say, "you know that one? You know what song I'm singing?"

He is always so surprised when I don't guess it right.

"Incubus! You can't tell that it's Incubus?!?!"

Friendship Weekend

Whelp, I think I've done it. I think I've finally made a couple of friends. This weekend was by far the most encouraging weekend (in the friendship category of my life) that I have experienced since moving here last July.

On Friday I had lunch with my friend Shauna and her friend Darci - who happens to be a friend of my friend Heather who I met through my friend Faye which makes Darci and I pretty good friends even though we just met once for an hour. Isn't that great!?!

Then on Saturday night Ryan and I met our potential small group for the first time at the Chop House downtown. We walked in and found a table full of potential friends. We met a pastry chef, a bronze sculpture maker, a Mercedes dealer, a software developer, a coffee connoisseur, a teacher - and that was only some of the people in our eclectic group. By the end of our night, we had so many friends we hardly knew what to do.

After that we went to see Into the Wild with our friends Joel and Sarah (which was a great movie) at the cheap seats theater.

Then today I met a couple of the girls from our new small group at Starbucks for coffee and it was so awesome. I don't drink coffee - but that's what people do these days - they meet for coffee.

So I am home now (Ryan is working until 11 tonight) sitting here by myself in our apartment smiling my face off!

Yahoo!

Christianese 101

The following is a list of phrases in the impenetrable language of "Christianese." For those unfamiliar with this strange dialect, I have compiled a helpful Christianese-English Dictionary so that you can find out what your Christian friend is really saying to you. If you have any other troubling Christianese phrases, please post them and I will happily translate them and add them to this list. (Please read this with a grain of salt.)

1. I'll pray about it = NO!

2. We need to pray for so and so = Guess what I just heard?!

3. I'm waiting for God to open some doors = I'm living in my parent's basement.

4. God gave me a word for you = I have advice to help you with your disaster of a life.

5. I'm going to have my quiet time = Leave me the heck alone!

6. God is good = My life sucks.

7. Bless his/her heart = What an idiot.

8. I have the gift of discernment = I can judge people without even talking to them.

9. I was having fellowship with them = We had beer and pizza and watched the game instead of going to church.

10. I'm saved by grace, not works = I can do whatever the heck I want.

11. She caused me to stumble = What a skank.

12. I kissed dating goodbye = I couldn't get a blind date, literally.

13. Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth = I can't believe you said the real curse word!

14. I don't mean to judge but... = I'm going to judge.

15. I'm dating Jesus right now = Are you kidding? I'm way out of your league.

16. God wants me to take some time off from this relationship = I met someone else and I'm too coward to break up with you.

17. I'll pray about marrying you = NO!

18. God told me that we are supposed to get married = Maybe you'll say yes if God is behind this.

19. I'm fasting = Your spiritual life is miniscule compared to mine. Try to keep up.

20. God has called me to minister to her = She's really hot.

21. I think you should pray about it = You'll see that I'm right.

22. We've decided to court, not date = My parents have a death grip on my life.

23. Courting = Homeschool dating.

24. Lord willing = My plans are His plans.

25. Take this with a grain of salt = I'm about to really offend you.

26. I'm feeling convicted about this = One day my actions might change too!

27. Have I offended you? = Why are you treating my like garbage?

28. Who wants to pray? = I don't want to pray right now.

29. Jesus turned water into wine = Jesus turned water into grape juice. (Southern Baptist Dialect)

30. Jesus turned water into wine = I can drink whatever I want. (Presbyterian Dialect)

HT: TIM SCHRAEDER

Gold Key Award

Ryan's brother Chris is an AMAZING photographer...as I have mentioned before. His photography portfolio was awarded the Scholastic Gold Key this past week for Central New York!Way to go Chris! You are talented beyond your years. We are so proud of you and can't wait to watch you develop your mad skillz during college!

Head over to Chris's blog to see some of his work and tell him congrats!

Leadership Live

For the first time ever, the entire senior management team at Granger is setting aside two full days to pour everything they can into 24 church leaders. They've never done anything like this before, and may never do it again, but they all have a growing passion to help leaders learn and churches grow. An intensive couple days of mentoring with a small group will yield much more than a conference ever could for those churches and leaders

It's not cheap -- $1,500 per person -- but includes your hotel and meal costs.

If you have an interest, sign up soon. Space is limited to the first 24 leaders that register.

Flashback Friday

It's 10pm on Friday night night Ryan is sleeping. He has to wake up soon to go to work. He's on the crazy shift this week. 11pm-7am. It good...because it's only 8 hour shifts...but it's bad because it seems like every time he is awake I am asleep and every time he is asleep I am awake.

I think I need a hobby.

I tried knitting once in college. My friends and I made some blankets, but mine turned out in the shape of a tornado because SOMEBODY didn't tell me about the "count your stitches" part. Luckily the small end fits perfectly over my feet.

I used to be more crafty - in Jr. High my friend Becky and I would spend hours and hours each week making earrings out of Friendly Plastic that we boiled and shaped.

I definitely thought I was too cool for crafts when I entered 9th grade.

Looking back now it is blatantly obvious that I was very far from being anything close to cool.

Did anyone else have only their bangs permed?

Woah.

Psalms 34 - The Message

I bless GOD every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. I live and breathe GOD; if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy: Join me in spreading the news; together let's get the word out. GOD met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. Look at him, give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him. When I was desperate, I called out, and GOD got me out of a tight spot. GOD's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray. Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see - how good GOD is. Blessed are you who run to him. Worship GOD if you want the best; worship opens doors to all his goodness. Young lions on the prowl get hungry, but GOD-seekers are full of God. Come, children, listen closely; I'll give you a lesson in GOD worship. Who out there has a lust for life? Can't wait each day to come upon beauty? Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth. Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace - don't let it get away! GOD keeps an eye on his friends, his ears pick up every moan and groan. GOD won't put up with rebels; he'll cull them down from the pack. Is anyone crying for help? GOD is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you'll find GOD right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. Disciples so often get into trouble; still, GOD is there every time. He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone; not even a finger gets broken. The wicked commit slow suicide; they waste their lives hating the good. God pays for each slave's freedom; no one who runs to him loses out.

Every single moment of every single day I have a choice. I can choose to live each moment in a way that pushes me closer to becoming the woman that GOD created me to be, or farther from becoming that woman. I've been loving this passage - because it makes me want to live each moment closer to God. Time is flying by. I know I'm only 27....but I want to squeeze every drop of life out of every day that I have left.

I'm not cryin' it's just been rainin' on my face.

Dearest Tarrence (kitty) Beeson,
We thought you died a couple of times before, but this time it was real. You brought so much happiness - watching you swipe little birdies off of the bird feeder in the back yard, the times you attacked Ginger the dog, the way you followed Ryan wherever he went...you were a wonderful Kitty and we all loved you.Remember the time you mysteriously disappeared for a few months...then mysteriously came home again - fatter than when you left? You were such a prankster.

When I heard the news about you I was at work...and I definitely broke down crying. I didn't know how much I cared for you until you were gone. We loved you - and we know you loved us too.

The following video explains how I felt when my friends at work saw my tears.

Weekend in Traverse City

Ryan and I had an absolutely awesome weekend. He wasn't on call Friday, Saturday or Sunday, so we decided to take a trip. We planned on cross country skiing in Gaylord, but the recent heat wave melted all the snow, so we went up to Traverse City instead.

We stayed on the 9th floor of the beautiful Park Place Hotel. The only problem was that there was a piano bar on the 10th floor - and the picture frame banging against the wall to the beat of "Funky Cold Medina" woke us up around midnight.

On Saturday we travelled up to Old Mission Point Lighthouse at the 45th parallel (half way between the Equator and the North Pole) and walked out to the bay. It was crazy how quiet it was...and the water was really low, and frozen, so that didn't make a sound either. We had fun hiking around looking at rocks.

Here is Ryan using his hand to show you where we were standing in Michigan.

This is a picture of Grand Traverse Bay - as you can see on Ryan's hand, we were at the top of that peninsula in the middle of the bay. Pretty cool drive up there.

Saturday night we met up with our friends Luke and Lindsey and Luke's brother Bain and his wife Laura. We had a really fun dinner together, hung out at the piano bar on the 10th floor of our hotel then watched a movie at this cool little theater downtown TC.

Peppermint-Filled Pinatas

I just finished reading Eric Bryant's new book peppermint-filled pinatas. Eric is on staff with Erwin McManus over at Mosaic and this book really challenged me to love people better. I think it's easy for me to befriend those who are most like me, those who have the same values as me, the same level of education as me, and the same religion as me.

This has become increasingly evident in my life since we move to GR. I park my car at night and my headlights shine into the park where homeless men are sleeping. We get knocks on our door from people asking for money, and stopped in the street for the same thing. It is so easy for me to get upset...to fear, to assume the worst about these people in this horrible situation of homelessness. I don't want to be afraid of diversity - I want to engage the world around me...and, to be completely honest, I am not sure what that means for me at this point in my life.

Some thoughts that really jumped out at me:

• Some of our churches have so consistently become a refuge for Christians from the world that we fail to become communities that go into the world, or even communities where seekers feel free to come and explore the possibility of a God who loves them and has a plan for their lives.


• We've even created our own language that now requires translation: Christianese. our isolation from the world fails to communicate God's concern for those around us but instead communicates that we do not want others in our lives who do not know Christ.


• Too often we require others to come to us to find God rather than allowing what God does among us to spill over into the lives of those who have not been with us in that "one place."


• 1 John 1:15-16 says, "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If you love the world, love for the Father is not in you. For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful people, the lust of their eyes and their boasting of what they have and do - comes not from the Father but from the world." We should apply this verse to how we live our lives, not to where to live. Our character and actions should be what sets us apart - not our zip code.


• In our attempts to become holy or "set apart," we have mistaken a call for "living with a different standard" with "living in a different place that has a different standard."


• We want to live in an environment where the laws or policies enforce our beliefs and morality rather than engaging a lost and broken world where they live.


• And if we are to be "set apart" to be "apostles," in the broad sense of people who are "sent out," then we are to be "set apart" in how we live, and we are "sent out" to the world. Too often we reverse these two concepts. We live away from the world physically, but our behavior matches that of the world.

Gob Job

Disney theme parks is looking for a “Chief Magic Official." The application process looks pretty intense (a magic aptitude test, a video profile, a degree in “Magic”...you should probably get a personal theme song too.)

You can go here to check it out.


HT: RELEVANT

On poking my own eyes out...

For the last couple of weeks I have seen a few commercials for CoverGirl's New LASH BLAST Mascara. Now, being the Mary Kay lady that I am, I typically do not stray from the tried and true MK Ultimate Products...however, Drew Barrymore is on these commercials and I really like her. So yesterday Ryan and I were at Meijer getting groceries and I see it. The colorful LASH BLAST Mascara display. I picked one up and excitedly said to Ryan "Drew Barrymore likes this kind of Masacara! I've been wanthing to try it!"

This morning before work I tried it out...and have been wanting to poke my own eye's out ever since!

This is the worst mascara I have ever tried in my life! First of all, the wand is bendy, so you can't really get it to go where you want. I got mascara all over the place. Secondly, the bristles on the wand are so stubby they don't really get any product on them, so you're basically just rubbing a stick across your lashes hoping some mascara sticks. I have blonde eyelashes, so I like to have mascara that goes on smooth and thick the first time.

After one coat of this I was very disappointed with the results. So I tried another coat, and another...only to find that my lashes were not looking thick and beautiful, and I got some on my left contact which I had to take out and wash off, but it wouldn't wash off because it was waterproof, so I ended up ripping my contact with all the vigorous scrubbing and had to open a new one. By the time I finally recomposed myself I was almost late for work and my entire morning routine had been messed up.

Once I got to work my eyes started feeling kinda irritated, and my lashes were so stiff I was afraid they were going to break and fall off everytime I blinked...so I stopped blinking for the rest of the day, which made everyone look at me strangely.

I went home at lunch, grabbed my MK Gentle Eyemakeup Remover and a cotton ball, carefully removed the horrid LASH BLAST Mascara and threw the tube in the trash.

Dear Drew Barrymore, I love you, but I hate your mascara.

One More Reason NOT to put Colloidal Siver Directly on Your Face.

Stop It!

glumbert - Stop It!

Christmas Pictures

Angela made some glorious bruschetta dip, which was referred to as " the sauce" for the rest of the week.

We played Tripoly with Granny, who is quite the card shark and says "Icky Bicky Boo" to her cards for good luck

Granny making delicious fruit salad

Dad and little Ginger

We like to open our mouths when we get presents...

It's Raining Iguanas

I was reading an article today about the storms in California, and at the end they mentioned the freeze in Florida. My favorite part of the article is as follows:

At Bill Baggs Cape Florida state park in Key Biscayne, iguanas were falling out of trees Thursday. The cold-blooded reptiles go into a sort of hibernation when temperatures get too low, even if they are perched in branches. Most woke up again when it got warmer later in the day.

I don't want to laugh, but come on, how hilarious would it be to walk around dodging falling iguanas? Haha.